As Baseball Discusses Radical Changes These Reality Shows Should Follow Suit

Major League Baseball, for those who don’t know, is that thing your 50 year old white uncle still watches in that time between when network TV schedule goes into reruns and when football comes back. Baseball used to be America’s Pastime but the slow pace of play, a lack of marketable stars, and too many other things to draw our attention baseball has gone the way of DVD’s and politicians who don’t try to clap back on Twitter. In an attempt to revitalize baseball many have suggested the game cut down the amount of time it takes to play a game, or even the amount of games played in a season, but Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred has other plans in mind, changing the playoff format. The playoffs in any sport are like the last few minutes of an elimination episode of your favorite reality show, teams are trying to compete for the final rose, avoid being voted of the island, singing to impress Carson Daly and Blake Shelton (I don’t watch The Voice but I am assuming that’s how you avoid elimination on that show) and baseball believes they can make it more exciting with changes including higher seeded teams choosing which team they play. As baseball ponders implementing this new playoff structure, it is possibly time for these reality shows to ponder equally radical changes.

The Bachelor/The Bachelorette: $50 Rule - The Bachelor or Bachelorette has a certain amount of roses they hand out each episode to keep the recipient in the competition. But we’ve all been there, 3 episodes in and some guy that still hasn’t gotten a storyline is getting a rose or the boring crazy girl (Not to be confused with the entertaining crazy girl, the lifeblood of the show) who definitely won’t make it past next week anyway is getting a rose. Let’s trim the fat, for every rose the the Bachelor/Bachelorette chooses not to use, they will receive a $50 gift card to a participating Darden owned restaurant. A hard offer to pass up but also a welcome wake up call for the instagram model contestants to see what they were passed up for. Huge win for ABC here, quicker seasons mean they can squeeze in a couple extra seasons a year

Big Brother: The Nicholas Cage Effect - In Big Brother the contestants are locked in a house for the summer with little to no contact with the outside world, no tv’s, no writing materials, you get the picture. It sounds terrible, and it likely is but they still have amenities like a pool and hot tub and over the years contestants have learned tricks to making life in the Big Brother house easier. Big Brother needs to get back to the early days where the contestants really felt like they were locked in a cage, hmmm Cage. Inside the Big Brother house will be Nicholas Cage, hidden and unleashed every 32 hours. Cage will be instructed that if he under acts in any way he will never be allowed to make any confusing straight to DVD thrillers for the rest of his life. Can the contestants last long enough with the “Cage’d Beast” to make it to elimination night or will they pack their stuff up early? Find out this summer on CBS

American Idol: Presidential Election Season - Another change that saves us all some time. Once we get down to the last 7 or so American Idol contestants in a season the lineups with a Presidential primary we are going to team up and do a two-for-one vote. You wanna save the reggae singing grad student from Miami? Cool, you also just cast a vote for Elizabeth Warren. Are you feeling the Bern for Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders? Well you best be casting a vote for the 35 year old bartender from Philly who sleeps in his car.

Guy’s Grocery Game: New Judge - It’s me and I am the only judge now, they still have to make 4 plates worth of food but it’s all for me. Nomnomnomomnom.

Survivor: Someone Loses A Leg - This one is pretty straight forward each season the Survivor producers promise us somebody will lose a leg, if it doesn’t happen naturally they’ll pick somebody and make it happen. The prize for being the one who loses a leg is you get to steal the $50 gift card from the Bachelor.