Andrew Haskell Saves Television - August 27, 2019

The man who loves television more than anyone on the planet, Andrew E. Haskell, breaks down the week in TV in order to save and preserve the greatest medium in human history. He won't stop until you put him on TV.

Flipping Through

Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Oakland Raiders continued into its third week with an appearance by master impressionist Frank Caliendo doing his impression of coach Jon Gruden, he went into his bag of impressions with super topical impressions such as George W. Bush, Al Gore, and William Shatner. Seriously, it’s not the greatest sign when Frank had to stop his flagship impression, John Madden, to make sure everyone remembered who he was.

To say Hard Knocks has been a bit of a disappointment is a bit of an understatement and that’s mostly because of human leftover KFC and Raiders owner Mark Davis has been relegated to just a quick cameo. This man is the spitting image of Barky Larson but is literally worth hundreds of millions of dollars! He drives a 20-year old Dodge Caravan and he travels 400 miles to get a haircut, this guy is a god damn John Candy character, I say if Antonio Brown wants to wear his banned helmet he has to drive the 400 miles with Mark Davis in his Caravan and film it for our amusement.

This is a good chance to discuss the Netflix’s Rocko’s Modern Life movie which I thought was a fantastic piece of 90’s nostalgia but many were upset by the inclusion of a transgendered character, saying the film was driven by a liberal agenda. Those upset will not be happy about the follow up movie where Rocko and Heffer, now a married couple, adopt an Asian baby, Rocko’s Modern Family

The first batch of Saturday Night Live season 45 hosts were announced and the big news if SNL great, Eddie Murphy, will make his return to the show after a lengthy estrangement. In a sign that the old Eddie Murphy is back he will also be playing the role of Leslie Jones, Kenan Thompson, and Colin Jost

At the MTV Video Music Awards, John Travolta caused a stir when he mistook drag queen Jade Jolie for Taylor Swift. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal considering the rest of us mistook a bearded Howie Mandel for John Travolta. Wait…

Also at the VMA’s former Disney Channel star Alyson Stoner reprised her role from the “Work It” music video during Missy Elliot performance. Not to be outdone her former Cheaper By The Dozen co-star, Steve Martin, finally revealed he’s been Cardi B this whole time

As part of a flurry of announcements Disney announced a Lizzy McGuire reboot. Star Hillary Duff said the show will follow Lizzy as she navigates life approaching 30. It’s expected the show will crossover with other Disney+ series Studio Apartment Life of Zack & Cody and Phil of the Future: 3000 Years Later and Still Paying Student Loans

Andrew’s Pitch to Disney+

Beauty and the Beast and Dupree - Belle and The Prince have fallen in love and with the spell broken they can focus on marriage and ruling the kingdom. Except Beast’s long time friend serisl slacker friend Randolph Dupree needs to crash at their castle while he’s between apartments. Between late night parties with Goofy, Prince Charming, and Black Panther and a sexual romp with Mrs. Potts, can Dupree derail the fairy tail life of Belle and The Prince or will they accept him for the lovable loser he is?

TV Watching Tips

Avoid Weekend TBS - The former Superstation has fallen into the routine of dumping their worst movie selections on weekend afternoons, perhaps already preparing to punt away those time slots during the college football and NFL season (Football puns!). Recent movie selections have included The Changeup, Win A Date With Tad Hamilton, and Devergent; a lineup that would have you longing for old TBS original series such as Tyler Perry’s House of Payne, My Boys, Oh, Brother!, Coffee Shop Samurai, and Chevy Chase’s Blind Date Extravaganza. Those last three were made up and don’t even act like you noticed.

A new poll from StatsForJokes.com shows the average person now encounters 11 The Office references a day. Lucky for you, if you need a refresher, with its current airing schedule Comedy Central is running through the entire once every 2 and a half days!